


You ever just make a twitter as a superhero to flex??

by Frog_that_writes



Category: Henry Danger (TV)
Genre: Multi, a twitter fic, bi henry hart, but oh well, cause why not, sometimes henry tries to get angsty and they laugh at him, these kids act like actual kids with memes and shit, this is gonna be really stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2019-10-13 16:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17491307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frog_that_writes/pseuds/Frog_that_writes
Summary: Henry makes an officiall twitter as Kid Danger, and everyone thinks its pretty stupid





	1. Chapter 1

DangerIsMyMiddleName

y’know i feel like i should get a little more thanks for constantly protecting this insane town

-CaptainManOfficial

-Look kid, one article got your name wrong. That’s it.

-DangerIsMyMiddleName

-I’ve been your sidekick for over three years!

-CaptainManOfficial

-Yeah but can you really blame them?

-DangerIsMyMiddleName

-yes!

-threebucketeers

-I appreciate you : )

\--DangerIsMyMiddleName

\--Thank you, random citizen i do not know

  
  


Piper Hart

@DangerIsMyMiddleName so I’m assuming since Captain Man actually replied to you, you’re a real account and not a fan page

-DangerIsMyMiddleName 

-*selfie.jpg* yup its actually me :)

\--Piper Hart

\--Lit

  
  


 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

Hey to celebrate me getting a twitter you all should ask me question

-DangerIsMyMiddleName

-Okay to the 27 people who just asked who i am im afraid i cant answer that

-TheBrain’sOfTheOperation

-How does it feel knowing your super power is the ability to be really good at not getting hit by things

\--DangerIsMyMiddleName

\--Pretty good actually 

-Threebucketeers

-Why did you make a twitter in the first place

\--DangerIsMyMiddleName

\--I saw someone call me straight and got so offended i knew the only option was to make a twitter to defend my honor

\---Threebucketeers 

\---We stan

-TheSwellviewPress

-What is your relation to Captain Man? Are you his son?

\--DangerIsMyMiddleName

\--1. Why does a newspaper have a twitter? 2. I wanted a job and he was like “hey kid wanna fight crime for minimum wage?” and i said sure why not

\---CaptainManOfficial

\---I should probably tell you to stop before you accidentally reveal your secret identity but this is funny to watch

-CraigBrown

-Gay?

\--DangerIsMyMiddleName

\--Bi 

\---Threebucketeers 

\---We stan

 


	2. Jeff sucks

DangerIsMyMiddleName: I keep thinking Jeff can't get any worse and yet

 

\- Threebucketeers: What did he do? 

 

\-- CaptainManOfficial: What hasn't Jeff done?

 

\-- DangerIsMyMiddleName: Jeff: there's only two genders. 

Me, crying: Jeff you're so fucking stupid 

 

\---ManFan: Superheros can cuss? 

 

\----DangerIsMyMiddleName: They can when Jeff is involved 

 

\-----ManFan: valid 

  
  


 

KPOPnightmare: @DangerIsMyMiddleName I know i missed the original q&a but can i ask a question 

 

-DangerIsMyMiddleName: u can but I might not be able to answer because ~secret identity~

 

\--KPOPnightmare: valid 

 

\--KPOPnightmare: How old are you? 

 

\---DangerIsMyMiddleName: I can't tell you the exact age but I’m old enough to legally drive without an adult ;)

 

\---DangerIsMyMiddleName: that's all I can say :))

 

\----KPOPnightmare: oh my God you're horrifying young go do your geometry homework 

 

\-----DangerIsMyMiddleName: I prefer saving the city over two column proofs but thx tho 

 

 

GrangerDanger: @DangerIsMyMiddleName So u said ur bi but are u dating anyone right now

 

-DangerIsMyMiddleName: is this q&a part 2 rn? I'm down ig 

 

-DangerIsMyMiddleName: I'm actually dating 2 people ;;))

 

\--GrangerDanger: you mean poly and not cheating right? 

 

\---DangerIsMyMiddleName: yeet 

 

\----GrangerDanger: wow I cant believe Swellviews best sidekick is a bisexual icon in a poly relationship 

 

\----GrangerDanger: is captain man queer?

 

\-----DangerIsMyMiddleName: he wishes

 

\------CaptianManOfficial: I'm trans don't let Kid Danger cis wash me

 

-GrangerDanger: I can't believe it's officially illegal for bi and transphobs to live in Swellview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so stupid someone stop me


	3. Uhhbhh biG gbay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does God still allow me to exist

Piper Hart: I think I just spotted @DangerIsMyMiddleName at the park on the corner of fourth 

-SomeKPopUsername: what was he doing??

\--Piper Hart: It kinda looked like he was trying go get a kitten out of a tree

\---SomeKPopUsername: oh my God 

\---DangerIsMyMiddleName: please don't expose me like this

Threebucketeers: so… @DangerIsMyMiddleName

-DangerIsMyMiddleName: I labour endlessly to protect this town and this is the thanks I get? 

-Threebucketeers: was it a cute cat? 

\--DangerIsMyMiddleName: it was gray with white paws and had so much fur 

\---TheBrainsOfTheOperation: I thought you were allergic to cats? 

\----DangerIsMyMiddleName: while I am not sure why you know this, random stranger I have never talked to, I took my allergy medication after saving the cat 

@DoubleLife has added @Jaspy Boi and @Charlotte Bolton to a new chat 

@DoubleLife: wow Charlotte

@Charlotte Bolton: I am so fucking sorry 

@Jaspy Boi: I am so in awe of the fact that is was actually Charlotte who fucked up first and not either of us 

@Charlotte Bolton: your idiocy is truly rubbing off on me 

@Double Life: breaking news stupidity has recently been discovered to be a sexually transmitted disease 

@Charlotte Bolton: that was so many big words in a sentence for you

@DoubleLife: har har 

@Jaspy Boi: so do you have a cover story in case anyone asks? 

@Charlotte Bolton: I'll just say I saw you petting a cat and swelling up once, and that I thought it had been common knowledge 

@DoubleLife: lmao piper is probably gonna ask you to join my fanclub 

@Jaspy Boi: the man fans except it only consists of Henry's significant others and his family 

@DoubleLife: that would be so fucking weird 

@Charlotte Bolton: yeah let's not 

@DoubleLife: if ray freaks out about this you can't throw us under the bus 

@Jaspy Boi: didn't ray once literally say ‘if you think of a really good joke but it requires you outing your superhero identity then it is 100% okay to do so’ ??

@DoubleLife: I think he said transgender not superhero 

@JaspyBoi: oooohh yeah that makes more sense

@Charlotte Bolton: well I gotta go perform damage control, you guys wanna meet at Henry's house later?

@Jaspy Boi: sounds good : )

@DoubleLife: I can't believe you just offer up my own house 

@Charlotte Bolton: my parents would never let me have my boyfriend and his boyfriend over, and Jasper's house is a wreck 

@Charlotte Bolton: in other words, you're the only one with a clean house and oblivious parents 

@DoubleLife: why did God curse all bi's to always have everything in 2’s

@Jaspy Boi: nice one 

@Jaspy Boi: I'll be at your house in an hour

****


	4. Oof Henry why

4:52 am

DangerIsMyMiddleName: Alright I love being a superhero and all but if villains could stop attacking at 3 am that would be great 

-

7:47 am 

_ Group chat between Henry, Jasper, and Charlotte _

@Charlotte Bolton: you look dead tired, did you get any sleep last night?

@DoubleLife: *gasp* texting in class?! Charlotte how could you?

@Charlotte Bolton: I'll take that deflection to mean no?

@DoubleLife: ….

@Jaspy Boi: babe

@Charlotte Bolton: Alright that's it I'm making a Twitter as an official member of the captain man team so I can yell at you in front of the people of swellview properly

@DoubleLife: please don't

@Jaspy Boi: oo I wanna make a CM team Twitter too 

@DoubleLife: I feel so betrayed 

@Double Life: and by my own significant others :((

@Charlotte Bolton: it's for your own good 

 

7:53 am

CaptainMan'sLastBraincell: Hello people of Swellview I made a Twitter just so I could call Kid Danger out and let you all know he doesn't get any God damn sleep

-CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor: hi I also made a Twitter to also say that Kid Danger once didn't tell anyone he had broken one of his ribs for a week 

\--DangerIsMyMiddleName: the worst thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies 

\---OfficialManFansTwitter: do these people actually work for Captain Man too?

\----DangerIsMyMiddleName: yeah they keep both of us from accidentally killing ourselves 

-

8:09 am

iliketrains: wait a min are these the two people @DangerIsMyMiddleName is dating?

-DangerIsMyMiddleName: yes they are, but before anyone asks they won't be able to answer any questions about themself for the sake of all of our secret identities 

\--CaptainMan'sLastBraincell: I asked boss man and I can say that we're both teenagers, but that's about it 

\----CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor: we can also say that are usernames are very accurate 

\-----CaptainManOfficial: and I can say I didn't authorize any of this

 

Abcdick: catch me starting a kid danger support club 

Phanaf: I'm already knitting a sweater tbh


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed the formatting of this like 3 times now whoops

CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor

me: hey, how was patrol?

KD: *fuckin falls over* bad. 

 

CaptainMan'sLastBraincell

some people seem to think him and Captain Man are like, serious heroes???

 

CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor

They're both complete disasters 

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

I can't believe you guys are trash talking me while I'm in the process of defending our great city 

 

CaptainMan'sLastBraincell

You're literally eating churros in the corner with CM

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

I don't need to take this from two people who couldn't even come up with good usernames 

 

CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor

Our usernames are amazing excuse you 

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

I mean they're actually very bad but whatever 

 

CaptainMan'sLastBraincell

Mine would have been better if this butt didn't copy it 

 

CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor

I didn't have any other ideas!

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

You guys need something that people can call you so I don't accidentally mess up and say your names 

 

CaptainManOfficial

Asshole 1 and Asshole 2

 

VoltronSuck

Captain man no-

 

CaptainManOfficial

Captain man yes 

 

CaptainManOfficial

See look kids I can meme 

 

CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor

Yes dad we're very proud of you 

 

CaptainManOfficial

Never call me dad again or else I will dock your pay 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

You're barely even paying us minimum wage though? 

 

CaptainMan'sLastBraincell

You're getting minimum wage?

 

CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor

You guys are getting paid? 

 

StarshipRanger 

Nice meming guys

 

CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor

No seriously you guys get paid??

 

* * *

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

For real though @CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor and @CaptainMan'sLastBraincell get better names please

 

CaptainMan'sLastBraincell

I don't know what to do, my role on the team is just common sense since S kinda has the role of techno dude 

 

CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor

Yeah and I don't really do anything 

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

You guys are so valuable to our team and idk how you don't know it??

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

Not to be gross on main but I definitely would've died w/o you guys by now tbh

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

Like you might say you're “just common sense” but without you I definitely would've done some stupid shit and gotten seriously hurt by now 

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

And also @CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor you're the only one of us that can deal with blood and stuff long enough to bandage cuts and shit 

 

CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor

Wow

  
  


CaptainMan'sSenseofHumor

That was Gay

 

CaptainMan'sLastBraincell

Ikr

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

Yeah whoops sorry not sorry

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

But also how do you feel about the names “The Medic” and “The Intelligence”

 

The Intelligence 

…. I like it a normal amount 

 

The Medic

Yeah same 

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName

:)


	6. Chapter 6

SpyAgain @SydneyDorris

Oh my god are you guys watching this rn

 

TheMoonIsFake @MarkHamill

Wait what what’s happening Syd 

 

SpyAgain @SydneyDorris

Mark turn on the news, there’s a bank robbery happening and its Bad

  
  


The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

Hello Everyone! I’m currently making an official statement on behalf on Captain Man and Kid Danger. They are both currently fine, just resting from that incredibly stressful situation. They are happy to know all the hostages got out safely and that no one was harmed.

 

The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

Okay i don’t have to be pr-y anymore this is off records holy shit y’all

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

That was literally the most stressful situation of my life I don’t think my nails will ever recover

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

Wow one guy straps a bomb to my chest and chains me to a bank vault and suddenly everything is stressful

  
  


The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

Kid Danger, we’re usually playing around when we yell at you for not taking your health seriously but if you joke about this incident again i will kill you myself

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

Seriously babe, you were barely a second away from dying and we couldn’t do anything

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

I’m sorry. I just use it as a coping mechanism but i know it stresses you guys out so I’m trying to stop

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

And also not to be Too Real on main but im too lazy to just text you guys and I really need u right now, so can you come over

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

Ofc i’ll be there before you can even set your phone

 

The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

Give me 15 minutes i need to sneak out

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

Ily guys <3

 

The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

Sap

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

We’re gonna cuddle you so hard

 

CaptainManOfficial @OfficialCaptainMan56

I want cuddles i almost died too :(

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

You can’t die tho

 

The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

Call S

 

CaptainManOfficial @OfficialCaptainMan56

Fuck u

 

The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

No that’s what S is for

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

Update: I got to KD’s house and his fast asleep we stan him

 

SpyAgain @SydneyDorris

Omg post pics

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

I can’t he’s out of costume :(

 

SpyAgain @SydneyDorris

Rip

 

The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

Anyways gn everyone is anyone commits any crimes in the next week I’ll rip off your ears and shove them up your nose :))))

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

amen

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

Go back to sleep

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> literally inspired by that episode of cm kms


	7. Burn baby burn (law firm inferno)

Private message between @BiBoy @ThreeBucketeers and @WinonaRyderStan

Henry: can one of you tell Mrs. Hamish I went home sick? Theres trouble across town

Charlotte: I mean yeah I will but you're gonna have to make up this test tomorrow

Henry: ugh

Jasper: why can't ray handle it?

Henry: he's busy apparently, whether with crime fighting or something stupid I have no idea 

Charlotte: rip. Stay safe

Jasper: yeah I'm sorry but I cant skip home ec and get another zero for the day because you need me to check if your ribs are broken

Henry: wow, love you too jasper

Jasper: shut up 

Jasper: I love you, be safe

Charlotte: I'll tell you I love you after you come back without any broken bones

Henry: the words were in the message so I'll accept it. Hopefully I'll be back soon

 

The Swellview Times @Swellviewofficial

Breaking news, Kid Danger caught on tape rescuing civilians from burning building after what appears to be a heist gone wrong. More as the story develops

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

Us: hey KD don't hurt yourself

KD: oo fire

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

You're so mean to me :( I only got a little burnt 

 

The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

I'm more worried about the smoke inhalation tbh

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

Oh crap I forgot about that

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

Ugh I'll go look up how to make sure you dont die 

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

Thanks babe ily <3

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

Maybe don't run into a burning building next time?

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

Wow sorry I didn't want people to die because I could have helped but didn't

 

The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

We have a VFD for a reason you know

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

They got there 10 minutes after I had already finished evacuating. I wasn't just going to wait around 

 

The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

Okay, that's fair

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

We're proud of you for helping people, we just wish we didnt have to see you get hurt so often 

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

And I hate seeing you guys so worried about me

 

The Intelligence @OfficialManTeamMember89

… meet up in the cave in 10?

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

I can make it in 15

 

The Medic @OfficialManTeamMember78

Speed limits are such a vague suggestion though

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

I, as someone affiliation with Captain Man, the sworn hero and protector of this town, would never dream to break such a vitally important law such as speed limits

 

CaptainManOfficial @OfficialCaptainMan56

Hurry about kid I want to crush your ass at Mario kart 

 

DangerIsMyMiddleName @OfficialManTeamSidekick67

I guess I'll be there in 10

 

The Swellview Times @Swellviewofficial

For the full story of what happened tonight at the Swellview Austin Brothers Law Firm building, see the attached article.

 

SpyAgain @SydneyDorris

Do you guys think they realize they're tweeting and not privately messaging each other? 

 

Connected Maeshworn @LesbianSwordAdmirer 

I doubt it to be honest 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, writing this instead of the many other wips I have right now because it's the one I get the most validation on and takes the least effort to right: oh? What's this?  
> But no, seriously you guys are so sweet.   
> I think they're a bit more ooc this chapter, but that's what happens when you drink oure idiot juice

**Author's Note:**

> this is stupid but oh well  
> you can comment if you didnt get the usernames cause im to lazy to write them rip??  
> twitter doesnt work like this but let me be im a stupid gay


End file.
